in honor of stupid people

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Monday, 05-Sep-2005 18:28:21

> > > >in Honour of Stupid People
> > > >
> > > >In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through
> > > >stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
> > > >
> > > >On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
> > > >(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
> > > >
> > > >On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
> > >Details
> > > >inside.
> > > >(the shoplifter special)?
> > > >
> > > >On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
> > > >(and that would be how???.....)
> > > >
> > > >On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
> > > >(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
> > > >
> > > >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn
upside
> > > >down."
> > > >(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
> > > >
> > > >On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
> heating."
> > > >(...and you thought????....)
> > > >
> > > >On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
> > > >(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
> > > >
> > > >On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
> > > >machinery after taking this medication."
> > > >(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
> > >could
> > > >just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
> > > >
> > > >On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness.."
> > > >(and...I'm taking this because???....)
> > > >
> > > >On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
> > > >(as opposed to...what)?
> > > >
> > > >On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
> > > >(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
> > > >
> > > >On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
> > > >(talk about a news flash)
> > > >
> > > >On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
> > >eat
> > > >nuts."
> > > >(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
> > > >
> > > >On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
> > >enable
> > > >you to fly."
> > > >(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
> > > >
> > > >On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands
> > >or
> > > >genitals."
> > > >(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
> > > >
> > > >
>

Post 2 by Witchcraft (Account disabled) on Monday, 05-Sep-2005 23:29:55

Oh God, thanks for that one. I needed a good laugh. *grin*

Post 3 by Star (Honorary Bitch of the Zone) on Tuesday, 06-Sep-2005 1:12:38

You know what they say about the sex drive of handless Sweeds... it can get so hard it feels like iron! That's why they try and stop a chaisaw chain with it. They first tried with their hands and failed so now they put the best TOOL they have in to it! ROFL Star

Post 4 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Saturday, 08-Oct-2005 0:21:49

oh that was good, thanks hahahaha